Dungbombs
by Ninja Master Steve
Summary: Fred and George get an unexpected visitor at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes. Chap 2 is up! Voldemort finally gets his dungbombs.
1. Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes

It was a bright and sunny day outside of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, on Diagon Alley. Fred and George had just finished inventing their insert fun new product here.   
  
"IT'S BRILLIANT!!!!!" said Fred (or was it George??).  
  
"Let's mail some to Professor Snape," George said (or was it Fred??).  
  
The chiming of the bell on the front door to the shop alerted the twins (or was it Fred and George??) that someone was there.  
  
"Welcome to Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes," said Fred happily (or was it George??).  
  
A man in black robes began to speak, his voice was cold and children began to cry. The sky outside bacame dark and cloudy. A chill went down George's spine (or was it Fred's??).  
  
"Do you have any dungbombs?" The creepy, cold voice asked.  
  
"Sorry mate we're all out, could I interest you in some Ten-Ton Toffee?" asked George (or was it Fred??)  
  
"I need dungbombs NOW!" the man said shortly.  
  
"And I said we're all out!" said Fred (or was it George)  
  
The man threw his black cloak off revealing pastey gray skin and blood-red eyes." I AM LORD VOLDEMORT YOU FOOLS!!! I DEMAND DUNGBOMBS IMMEDIATLY!!"  
  
"You're Lord Voldemort?! I expected you to be a big scary git," said Fred (and this time it was Fred!!)  
  
"I need dungbombs," The Dark Lord whined.  
  
"You're not so scary, unless by scary you mean ugly." said George (or was it Professor McGonagall??)  
  
"I need dungbombs," The dark lord whined again.  
  
Suddenly Draco Malfoy walked in and turned pale at the sight of the Dark Lord.  
  
"EEP!!" squealed Draco and ran out the door.  
  
"I heard he has dungbombs," said Fred (or was it Cornelius Fudge, no it was Fred.).  
  
The Dark Lord was out of the shop and after young Mr. Malfoy before you could say Fizzing Whizbees.  
  
Fred and George looked at each other (or was it George and Fred) blankly. A moment later the bell jingled again.  
  
"You lied," the Dark Lord pouted. "I need dungbombs."  
  
Just then Remus J. Lupin walked through the door. "Good day all, I need 26 dungbombs," he said politely.  
  
Fred (or was it George) handed Lupin a large sack from beneath the counter.  
  
"Here you go, Professor Lupin," said George (or was it Bellatrix Lestrange??)  
  
Lupin thanked the twins and left the shop.  
  
"I need dungbombs," The dark lord whined again.  
  
"Sorry mate, fresh out."  
  
The dark Lord pulled out his wand and shouted " Kevada Adavra!!!". Fluffy pink bunnies spouted from his wand and began to hop around the shop.  
  
Fred and George exchanged confused looks.  
  
Th dark lord began fishing around in his pockets "What was that spell again??"  
  
The bell tintinnabulated once again. In floated Nearly-Headless Nick.  
  
"Hello Fred, George, Voldemort," said Nick  
  
"How ya doin'," said Voldemort.  
  
Just then Voldemort took a good look at Nearly-Headless Nick and shrieked "A GHOST, AAAAHHHHHH!!!" and he ran out of the shop never to be seen again (or was it Dumbledore??).  
  
Please Review! Thank you! 


	2. Trouble at the Riddle House

It's a bright and shiny day, and Voldemort, who was fed up with the twin's (or was it Fred and George's??) antics. So he decided to try Zonkos Joke Shop in Hogsmeade.  
  
"Stupid Weasleys, making the Dark Lord look like such a fool, I only wanted some dungbombs," whined Voldemort.  
  
The bell above the door chimed as a man in a black robe entered.  
  
The clerk turned around and said, "What can I get you?"  
  
A cold, creepy voice was emitted from inside the hood, "Can I have some dungbombs, pretty please??"  
  
"Sure and how many would you like?" said the clerk (or was it Fred, wait I think it was........).  
  
"I need 150, now," said Voldemort  
  
"Sorry pal only got 149 left," said the clerk, (my mistake it wasn't Fred nor George).  
  
"I'll take them then," The Dark Lord said.  
  
"That'll be one galleon and 5 sickles." said the clerk  
  
"WHAT??? Back in my day a man could buy 100 dungbombs for 6 knuts!" Voldemort handed the clerk the money, still ranting about how expensive things are now. But when he grabbed the sack full of 149 dungbombs, he skipped out of the shop like a little girl.  
  
"Geez what a freak, weird voice too," said the clerk.  
  
Voldemort kept skipping for a good 200 yards when he realized he could just apparate back to his house. And CRACK he appeared in the living room of the Riddle house in Little Hangleton.  
  
"Yippee nobody's home!!" squealed Voldemort.  
  
Voldemort spent the next couple of hours rigging the house. He left the front door open a bit and placed a bucket of hippogriff dung.  
  
"Who ever comes in first is gonna get it good!" said Voldemort excitedley.  
  
He then enchanted a dust pan to hurl neverending amounts of dust at anyone who walks through the door. He locked Nagini in a room upstairs so the Death eaters would think Voldemort was still out and Nagini was off feeding somewhere. Voldemort couldn't think of any more things to do so he took his place at the top of the stairs and waited the sack of dungbombs right next to him.  
  
The came numerous CRACKS and voices and one man said in a squeakey voice "Those bumper cars were great they were all insert noise bumper cars make !"  
  
"Nuh-uh, the tilt-a-whirl was the best, Peter, it was all fast and spinning!" said a man with a familiar voice.  
  
"Nuh-uh Lucius, the bumper cars were way cooler!" said Peter.  
  
"Nuh-uh Peter the tilt-a-whirl was the best!" said Lucius.  
  
"Nuh-uh Lucious the bumper cars where way cooler!" said Peter.  
  
"Nuh-uh Peter the tilt-a-whirl was the best!" said Lucius.  
  
"Nuh-uh Lucius the bumper cars where way cooler!" said Peter.  
  
"Nuh-uh Peter the tilt-a-whirl was the best!" said Lucius.  
  
"Will you to shut up and look at the door its opened, and besides the Gravitron was the best," said a female voice.  
  
"Sorry Bellatrix," Peter and Lucius said in unison.  
  
"Do you think someones attacked him, McNair?" said Bellatrix.  
  
"I don't know Bella, I'll go check." said McNair.  
  
"Be careful!" yelled Peter  
  
"Shut up!" said Lucius  
  
"No you shut up!" said Peter (or was it Harry??)  
  
"No you shut up!" Lucius argued back.  
  
"You both Shut up!" roared Bella.  
  
They both stopped talking but began to poke each other.  
  
"See anything yet?" called Bella ( "OW!! That was my eye Lucius!" cried Peter in the background.)  
  
"Not yet," McNair called back, his wand in his hand.  
  
He pushed open the door and jumped in and...... SPLAT  
  
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" yelled McNair  
  
"What is it?" called Bella as Peter, Lucius and her ran up to the door.  
  
"Hippogriff dung!" cried Peter rolling on the floor laughing.  
  
Then the dust pan zoomed around the corner and began flinging dust at them.  
  
Voldemort put a levitating charm on the sack and put it right over the four Death Eaters' heads.  
  
"This is gonna be so fricken sweet!!" said Voldemort, nearly wetting himself. He put the bubble-head charm on himself so he couldn't smell the unbearable stench that was about to be released on the unsuspecting people below. He tipped the bag and all the dungbombs fell out and hit the floor with a loud inert noise the dungbombs make when they hit a floor loudly  
  
"What's all this?" said Bellatrix.  
  
"Uh-oh spaghetti-o! Dungbombs!" Peter yelled as stench so foul filled the room, this stench smelled like insert thing that smells REALLY bad.  
  
Voldemort jummped down fom the top of the stairs, bubble on his head, and said "I got you guys good!"  
  
"Oh Voldie!!" the four of them yelled.  
  
Then they all began to roar with laughter, forgetting about the smell. 


End file.
